Ryan Gosling for Klown
You know what?  Fuck that asshole, man.  I mean, he offers to take a nice picture of you and your lady friend, you think, ‘hey, he’s in a wheelchair, you know, he gets how important a little kindness can be,’ and next thing you know, you’re on TMZ.  He’s just another paparazzi scumbag, trying to get a leg up.  I bet he’s not even handicapped; he just uses it to get people to trust him.  Jesus, human fucking decency.



So we’re just gonna leave the wheelchair on the sidewalk, yeah?  Let’s go get some sushi.

You know what? Fuck that asshole, man. I mean, he offers to take a nice picture of you and your lady friend, you think, ‘hey, he’s in a wheelchair, you know, he gets how important a little kindness can be,’ and next thing you know, you’re on TMZ. He’s just another paparazzi scumbag, trying to get a leg up. I bet he’s not even handicapped; he just uses it to get people to trust him. Jesus, human fucking decency.

So we’re just gonna leave the wheelchair on the sidewalk, yeah? Let’s go get some sushi.

What the fuck, man?  You got twelve packs of toilet paper there, okay?  Twelve rolls in each pack.  Twelve times twelve…that’s 144 rolls of toilet paper.  You know what kinda message that sends?

It says, ‘I’ve got IBS.  There is shit leaking out of my ass right now.’

I mean, it’s better than just buying one roll.  That says, ‘I gotta take a dump and I can’t wait until I get home.’  But, fuck, man, 144 rolls.

What the fuck, man? You got twelve packs of toilet paper there, okay? Twelve rolls in each pack. Twelve times twelve…that’s 144 rolls of toilet paper. You know what kinda message that sends?

It says, ‘I’ve got IBS. There is shit leaking out of my ass right now.’

I mean, it’s better than just buying one roll. That says, ‘I gotta take a dump and I can’t wait until I get home.’ But, fuck, man, 144 rolls.

Hej

This is a half tongue-in-cheek, half totally serious blog casting Ryan Gosling as himself in Klown. Based on the Danish partially-improvised television series and film Klovn, it follows two actors, one a comedian and another a famous playboy, who run their own production company but spend the majority of their time being clueless assholes. It’s currently being remade with Danny McBride, but other than that I know nothing about the American version. I’m sure in his personal life Mr. Gosling doesn’t cheat on his girlfriend or drink constantly or use drugs, but wouldn’t it be funny if he did?

I highly recommend checking out the original. Some of the episodes are available on YouTube, or you can torrent them. No American DVD has been released, but there are official English subs available. I also fully support campaigning for Gosling to be in the remake, because we all know how easy it is to get stars to commit to adaptations of shows nobody outside of Europe knows about.